Traveling for Dummies: Getting Along

Hey, sorry for the lack of posts. It's called I-have-a-real-job-now.

So, another Traveling for Dummies post.

This was taken during Ereeen's and my epic trip to Treasure Island. Or Ashburn. One of those.

One of the most crucial factors in travel success is getting along with your travel companions. I’ve had trips be nearly ruined because I chose poorly.

The rule of thumb for traveling with others is this: be on your best behavior. Rick Steves says travel is intensified living, and he’s totally right. When you travel, the ratio of interesting experiences to time is increased dramatically. It makes perfect sense that other things will be heightened, including your stress levels and emotion.

I’ve got examples of good travel behavior and bad travel behavior. First the good, because the bad ones are juicier and more fun to read. :)

I’ve been blessed with some really great travel companions. Bex was fantastic during our Danube Adventure, and we got along great! When Bex’s passport came up missing, I could have gotten angry and we could easily have gotten into a fight about it. But to what end would it serve? The passport would still be gone. Likewise, toward the end of the trip, I started coughing incessantly at night. I personally find the sound of coughing VERY annoying, but Bex was totally cool about it and didn’t complain at all. And she could have.

A few years ago in China, my friend Sarah-not-Sade and I got along for the most part, but there was one day when we got lost trying to find some hutong neighborhoods and we did get snappy with each other. Let me rephrase that: I got snappy with her. I admit it; I was the jerk. She could have gotten mad and been pissed at me all day. But instead, we just took a breather and didn’t talk for a few minutes, and then spoke politely to each other until the tense vibe passed. It was very good and diplomatic behavior.

Now, for some bad stories. Not all of these are mine. I am going to write them all as though they happened to two people named Innocent Ingrid and Bad Egg Betty. They lived in a whimsical world where everybody’s names are alliterated.

Ingrid and Betty went to New York City. They had a jam-packed week planned. Ingrid was not a morning person, but when the alarm went off each morning, she got up and started getting ready. It would take three attempts to get Betty out of bed before she would actually do it. Then she would spend the next hour and half showering, blow-drying, flat-ironing, putting on makeup, and putting on perfume. Ingrid read a novel that week, and 80% of it was accomplished while waiting for Betty to get ready in the morning. They were no less than an hour late out of the hotel every single day of the trip.

On another occasion, Betty came to visit Ingrid when she was living in DC. Betty spent one night with another friend, and Ingrid was going to meet her downtown. She called Betty before leaving her house in the suburbs. “I’ll be there in 45 minutes,” Betty said. So Ingrid got on the Metro and rode all the way into town, arriving at their meeting place a few minutes early. She called Betty’s cell, but there was no answer. “She’s probably on the Metro,” Ingrid thought. So Ingrid popped into H&M and Filene’s and window-shopped for a while. She called Betty’s phone every 5-10 minutes, and after a half an hour, still had not gotten an answer. Finally, after about 45 minutes of calling, a very sleepy-sounding Betty picked up the phone. Betty had chosen to go back to bed after that phone call, knowing full well that Ingrid was on her way to meet her.

Once, Betty and Ingrid went to visit a friend in a foreign country. The friend, Notable Ned, had to work a few days of the trip, but arranged his schedule so he could spend as much time with them as possible and could drive them around town and through the countryside. Ingrid and Ned were up early every morning and ready to go at the time they’d worked out the night before, but each morning Betty would be the last one to wake up, the last one ready to go, and complained about how the milk tasted different in this country. Betty also complained about the weather in the foreign country, and about how the sidewalks weren’t clean. On the days Ned had to work, Betty wasn’t in the mood to leave the house, which meant Ingrid had to go out on her own or stay home. She chose to see the country they’d flown all this way to visit, but was sad she didn’t have her friend with her to be in pictures and experience this new place together. Betty watched Hulu.

During Study Abroad in London (okay, okay, it’s clear this one happened to me), Betty and Ingrid took a five-day trip to Paris with everyone else in the program. Ingrid and another friend (Planner Patty) asked around to their closest friends and found out what everyone wanted to do the most, and then made a rough itinerary of the trip on the train. On the first morning at breakfast, it was clear that Betty and another friend (Cranky Candice) were in a bad mood, and fought every scheduling decision that Ingrid and Patty had made. The rest of the group was happy with it, so they proceeded with their outline. For the entire trip, Betty pouted and refused to smile in pictures, and ran off with Candice at the sites, and arrived late at the meeting points. At the end of the week, Ingrid heard Betty talking to another study abroad student (who had traveled around Paris with another group of friends), and heard her say it was one of the worst weeks of her life. Bad attitude, much?

Some tips for “being on your best behavior”:
- Be realistic about how much time it takes you to get ready in the morning. If it takes you 30 minutes at home, it will still take you 30 minutes on the road.
- Knowing that, plan your time accordingly. If it takes you 45 minutes to get ready, and your travel companion 30, then you need to be the first one in the shower in the morning.
- Waking up sucks no matter where you are, and it’s even worse when you’re jet-lagged. But you’ve got to do it on time. Your sleeping in has a direct and detrimental effect on those around you.
- When a “hitch” happens (every trip has at least one), it’s best to go into “problem-solver” mode immediately, rather than dwelling on how much this has messed up your schedule.
- Be open to eating at the first restaurant you can find. Spending an hour trying to decide on where to eat is one of the quickest ways to get on each other’s nerves.
- When you are able to get online, don’t spend a million years checking Facebook or writing long emails. Unless, of course, all travel companions agree that putting a screeching halt to the day’s activities is worth it. (Lots of restaurants have free Wi-Fi now. Mealtimes are a great time to check emails on your iPod Touch or Droid, since your travel companions can consult the guidebook or eat while you do it.)
- Be open to doing stuff you wouldn’t normally be interested in doing, if your travel companion wants to do it. Chances are there are a couple of things on the itinerary that you want to do, but they don’t.
- Don’t complain about prices. Travel is really expensive, no matter where you go.